Eric: A house divided

One of the difficulties that we have encountered in our home is that the different approaches to the exchange system sometimes clash. For example, every time that Callie has been home and on an eating plan, I have cooked to meet her exchanges and the family ate what she ate. And we all gained weight.

Now; however, I have to follow my own exchanges and so I have been cooking lighter dinners to meet my needs with low carbohydrate selections. We recently discovered that despite the fact that I was telling Callie that the meals were no longer meeting all of her exchanges, she was not eating enough and was also losing weight.

Eating is a very social time for our family, and quite frankly, it is very difficult to not eat what everyone else is eating. I know I get a certain satisfaction from sharing a meal with my family. And, it doesn't feel good to me when I have to eat less or another person is not eating all that the rest of us are eating. We are learning how to adjust the family norms so that we can all have our needs met, but this has not been easy.

Another interesting difference that we have noticed is that we both tend to estimate calories differently. This became apparent when we both got Fitbits and started logging our meals and sharing the information with each other. Here's a recent example: We each had a kimichi egg roll for dinner. If you look this item up in an online food calorie guide there is likely to be a spectrum of possibilities. The range that I saw was 120 to 320 calories. I estimated that it was 180 calories. Callie estimated that it was 280 calories. Isn't it interesting how these estimates just happened to meet our true desires? I am restricting but don't really want to and Callie is eating more than she wants to while wanting to restrict!

We now double check each other on calorie estimates, and when I cook I make a starch for others to eat even if I choose not to eat it at that meal. I feel hopeful that with a few minor adjustments we can find a balanced middle ground that will lead to good health for us all.